Look – Shiny New Site!

(with Matching Journal)

Welcome to my brand-spanking new website. Isn’t it gorgeous? And slick? Yeah, I think so, too.

How did this come to be? How did my simple little website transform into this aesthetic wonder and practical powerhouse?

In an effort of near-Sisyphean proportions, my partner and web guru extraordinaire—Karawynn Long—designed and coded it for me. Here’s the 100% complete and true story:

How I Got A New Website

(un-embellished version)

Me: I’m going to start blogging!

K: [snorts] Good one!

Me: No, I’m serious!

K: [stops laughing and gives me a skeptical look]

Me: Just because I’ve started blogging a half-dozen times before, doesn’t mean I’ll fail this time! This time I have a strategy.

K: Heh, I’m sure you do.

Me: I do! I’m going to write only about stuff that I’m passionate about.

K: But who’s going to read a blog that’s only about porn and soccer and crème brûlée?

Me: [pondering] Actually…

K: Don’t think about that too much.

Me: I meant topics like writing, editing, and publishing. About events in my life and their effect on me… about stoicism and sustainability.

K: Seriously, no crème brûlée?

Me: The problem is that my blog doesn’t match the rest of my site.

K: Yeah, that is a problem. I could fix that for you.

Me: I’d love that, but do you have the time?

K: [shrugs] Sure. I could use it as a portfolio piece.

Me: [who recognizes a good thing] Oh wow, that sounds… um… involved.

K: [after a few minutes of researching] Not a simple job, but I’ve got this. I’ll do a custom design for you. Might not be done by lunch though.

Me: Oh that’s okay. I can wait until dinner, no problem.

[Several days (and a couple hundred questions from K) later.]

K: Well, I’ve had to brush up on PHP, and there’s still a lot to do. [shows me a long list]

Me: Wow, it’s already orders of magnitude better. Should I make a post?

K: Not yet. See that? I have to style that in CSS. And this here? The AJAX functionality is broken currently.

Me: Well, yeah, I’d like that, but I don’t really need—

K: Shht! I said I was going to fix your site. It’s not done yet.

Me: Okay, okay…

[Some days later]

Me: [admiring the site] Oh, this is awesome! And this! Rock!

K: [pleased look] It’s ready for you to post now, I think.

Me: Cool. I really like it! Hmm, I wonder if it’s possible to do <cool thing like pull quotes or asides or tilted photos>

K: Um, what?

Me: Shit, did I say that with my outside voice?

K: Yes. So what do you want now?

Me: Nothing. This is great! I love it.

K: [suspicious look] What!?

Me: Um… well, I was just wondering if <cool thing 1 and/or awesome function 2> would be possible and easy to do.

K: Oh sure, <awesome function 2> is easy. [makes a few keystrokes] Refresh your browser.

Me: [checking it out] Sweet! You’re awesome!

K: [smiles] Yep. But <cool thing 1> is going to mean recoding the server OS in machine language.

Me: Is that hard?

K: Just shut up and bring me food and drink. Also, clean the house because I’m not going to be able to leave my desk until this is done!

Me: [meekly] So, no posting today, then?

K: [tired glare]

Me: [leaving to clean the kitchen] Thought not.

K: [days later, exhausted] I’m done.

Me: [Looking at the site, which is gorgeous and has all the bells and whistles I could ever hope for] I love it, sweetie! I really do.

K: So you can post now. And you will post in your journal regularly. [this is clearly not a question]

Me: [in my best storm trooper voice] So, I will post in my journal regularly.

K: [makes Jedi hand motion] Move along.

Me: Move along.

K: [taps foot]

Me: I’ll get started then.

K: Yes. Yes you will.